An “Almost” Word-for-Word Conversation with a Business Owner
Costello: Well Abbott, I’m going to New York City to hire a marketing agency.
Abbott: We don’t need a fancy ad agency. We have a marketing team.
Costello: We do? If you’re the business owner, you must know all the players on your marketing team, right?
Abbott: Well, let’s see. Who’s writing the brochure, What’s on the business cards, and then I Don’t Know, the Web site guy…
Costello: That’s what I want to find out.
Abbott: I told you Who’s writing the brochure, What’s on business cards, I Don’t Know Web sites.
Costello: You don’t know the names of your marketing team?
Abbott: Of course I do.
Costello: Well then who’s on brochures?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fella’s name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy writing brochures.
Abbott: Who is writing the brochures!
Costello: I’m asking YOU who’s writing them!
Abbott: That’s the guy’s name.
Costello: That’s who’s name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s who?
Abbott: Yes.
(Confused pause)
Costello: Look, you got a brochure writer, right?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who’s writing them?
Abbott: Yep.
Costello: When you pay the brochure guy every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: Who gets the money?
Abbott: Yep, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes.
(Costello pauses, confused…again)
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you hired someone to write your brochure, how did he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name that does your brochures.
Abbott: No. What is on business cards.
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on business cards.
Abbott: Who’s on brochures.
Costello: Lemme figure this out one project at a time!
Abbott: Well, don’t change the players around!
Costello: I’m only asking you, who’s the guy doing your brochures?
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: What’s the guy’s name doing brochures?
Abbott: No. I told you…what is on the business cards.
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on business cards.
Abbott: Who’s on brochures.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: He’s my Web site guy.
Costello: Now how did we get on Web sites?
Abbott: You brought up his name.
Costello: Who did I say is doing Web design?
Abbott: No. Who’s writing my brochure.
Costello: What’s on the brochures?
Abbott: What’s on the business cards.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: He’s on Web sites. I just told you that.
Costello: Oh never mind!
Abbott: Sorry, he only does our press releases.
(Fin)